A tale as old as time: A man was sitting on the toilet doing a number two in the doo-doo room when a python allegedly bit his balls.
Thanat Tangtewanon, a resident of Thailand, recounted his harrowing experience on social media, sharing an astonishingly terrifying story. He posted a video of himself grappling with a python, with blood smeared across the floor.
Suggest readers, it seems the blood is from his balls.
Thanat’s Sunday began like any other day. The married father woke up around 10 AM and made his way to the bathroom to cook a butt burrito.
Thanat mentioned that he first flushed the toilet to ensure there were no unpleasant surprises, as monsoons often bring reptiles to the surface. After confirming it was safe, he proceeded to squat to doo the doo.
However, just as he was about to feel the sweet relief of making room for lunch, Thanat felt a piercing pain in his testicles. He realized that something had sunk its teeth into his some of his most prized body parts.
He quickly identified the culprit: a snake who still had its fangs embedded in his scrotum.
Thus began an epic battle atop a toilet between a python, a man… and his balls.
He recounted how he firmly grasped the snake and attempted to pull it from the toilet. However, it was too strong and remained stubbornly in place.
Thanat surveyed the room and spotted a toilet brush, his unlikely Excalibur. With a flick of his wrist, he gave the scrotum-loving serpent a not-so-gentle introduction to hygiene, turning it from a slithery menace to a limp noodle in no time.
Thanat then asked a neighbor to take him to the hospital for testing and medical treatment. Fortunately, pythons aren’t venomous, so his primary concern is caring for his balls.
He reports feeling fine now, as do his testicles.
The Internet Reacts… to a Man Getting His Balls Bitten by a Python While on the Toilet
Of course, footage of the man dealing with a python that allegedly bit his balls while sitting on the toilet made it to all corners of social media. The reactions from denizens of the internet were swift.
“Old Fear unlocked again,” one onlooker wrote on X. “Bro has balls of steel to be grabbing the snake like that after being bitten,” another X user marveled. “Oh my god…! I can feel that pain,” a third user added.
However, one thoughtful person pointed out how the python simply couldn’t turn down the ball snack.
“Low hanging fruits,” they quipped.
Meanwhile, yet another X user gave some advice all of us (even those of us sans balls) should follow.
“Always check before sitting on the toilet, especially if you live in the middle of the woods!”, they urged.